Journey to Motherhood: TTC and PCOS

Ever just know something is wrong with you, but every single doctor you go to tells you that you're fine? Well that was me!

This story picks up in Jan 2012. With my IUD removed, my husband and I were ready to start trying for a sibling for our son. There was no rush, but I noticed nothing was really happening. My cycle was extremely irregular, but I just figured my body was recovering from 5 years of consistent birth control. By the end of 2012 I'd gained 17 lbs. I chalked it up to stress...I mean, I'd had a baby before, so I was fine.

2013...the stress continued. I was going to the gym, eating smaller portions, and still wasn't losing weight. I went to doctors and had everything imaginable checked. They said I was fine...and I needed to eat better...and work out more. Which I did...but the weight just kept coming. One of my biggest stressors in 2013 was the process of trying to get pregnant! Birth control had always regulated my cycle... but now, it was completely irregular and unpredictable. I can't count how many times I thought we'd succeeded, only to be crushed when the tests came back negative. I'd convinced myself the tests were wrong....and then my cycle would show up the next week and I'd be distraught. By the end of 2013 I'd gained 25 more pounds. I had tried every single crash diet available.... NOTHING WORKED! I could eat what I thought was a healthy balanced meal, and would still gain weight. I knew something wasn't right....but my doctors had ruled everything out.

2014 came and not much changed, I continued to pack on the pounds no matter my efforts. I could eat pizza, or I could eat a sweet potato and chicken breast....both ended in the numbers on the scale rising. Around this time, I met a young lady who was struggling with fertility and had been diagnosed with PCOS. I had been to the doctor and asked about it, but it was ruled out, so I'd never really given it much more thought. After gaining more weight, I finally decided to go and see the doctor who diagnosed her. After getting all my information, he took one look at me and said,  "You have PCOS." I was floored, how did he know? He hadn't even done any tests?! He followed up his statement with hirsutism (hair on my chin) is a very common symptom. WHO KNEW! A quick ultrasound later and I saw all the little cysts for myself. I was heart-broken. For 2 years I'd been to doctor after doctor. They ran test after test. No one caught this!

In August 2014, I had a procedure called LOD (laproscopic ovarian drilling) done to help relieve some of my PCOS symptoms. The surgery was successful in the sense that my cycle was (and still is) completely normal and on time every single month, and my blood pressure is amazing compared to before the surgery. Unfortunately, I'd continue to gain weight on and off between 2014 -2016. I would lose 20 lbs, then gain 20 lbs, and then repeat the cycle.

By 2016, my weight was finally on a steady decline. I was consistently active, and while wanting a baby was still really important to me, I'd made up plenty of excuses about how I was ok with my baby-less reality.

THEN THE TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE.

After cramping for a few days, I went to the hospital, and we got a positive pregnancy test........ but it wasn't healthy. That little one was so excited, couldn't wait to attach itself, and decided that the wall of my left fallopian tube would be the perfect place to take up residence. On July 11, 2016 I was admitted to the hospital with severe cramping and bleeding, and on July 12, I underwent surgery to remove both the fetus and my ruptured fallopian tube. The doctor who did my surgery told us that at this point, conceiving naturally was pretty much out of the question.

We were devastated.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I would end up spending the next 3 months in the states in my home town. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Reeling from loss and stress, my weight skyrocketed. But the best part of being home, is having a support system, and support me they did! I started the Green Smoothie Cleanse with my big sister, and working out 4-5 days a week.  At the end of 90 days I had lost over 30lbs. I was healthy. My habits were healthier. I was at peace with where life had brought me.

I arrived back in Kuwait in November 2016.

It just so happened that in December 2016.... THE TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE AGAIN!