Just one of them days

There are some days where I feel like I’m really moving the needle forward, and then there are days like today. Nothing is inherently wrong. Work is work but I have a bubbling social schedule to counteract it. My family is healthy and friends, both near and far, continue to hold space for me and help the pieces stay together when I run out of my own glue. And yet, something is…missing? lacking? out of place? Idk. I feel out of sorts, a bit restless, and more bothered by things outside of my control than I care to admit.

The worst of this is, I’m the problem. (Giggles as my mind inserts that clip from Instagram that asks “am I the drama?!?”)

It’s me y’all. My best friend has been telling me to sit down and work through my ish for the better part of every year I’ve known her, but more specifically the last few months. But working through my mess means slowing down, it means sitting still, it means quiet. SO OBVIOUSLY, I hit the gas cause turn down for WHAT????

Today is the inevitable “what” that she undoubtedly knew would find me if I stayed that course. Grateful for good brakes and divine protection cause baaaaybeeeeh. Things aren’t bad, just a little heavy. I feel displaced from self…as if I’ve wandered further from my path only to look around and find myself in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable wilderness.

Awareness - now I have to find my way back. Sounds simple…minus my short attention span and love of distractions. But for once, I’m trying. To truly attract and maintain the good I have to get the toxins out of my soil.

Funny, when I typed that last sentence, spellcheck changed “soil” to “soul”, and maybe it had a point.

No longer this, time to work towards better.